'A thank-you letter brings closure'

Collaborating with all centers

‘In my own hospital, I wanted to discover if it helps to more actively draw attention to writing anonymous thank-you letters. This turned out to be the case; more letters were written.’

‘At that time, I came into contact with a medical social worker in Nijmegen who was doing a similar project. Together, we decided to take this on nationally. Since 2021, all university medical centers (UMCs) have been working together. Together, we ensure that the information and guidance regarding the writing of thank-you letters is handled the same way everywhere.’

Help with writing a letter

‘Recipients of a donor organ can send an anonymous letter via the nurse practitioner or doctor. We know that many recipients find it difficult to find the right words. That is why they can get help writing a letter.’

‘At the LUMC, Tim Hoogenbosch is committed to this. He used to be a Dutch teacher. His wife has a donor heart and also struggled with a thank-you letter. Tim now helps others write letters. Experience shows that it is also beneficial for the recipients themselves to write the letter.’

Whatever you write is always good

Common questions when writing:

• How do I write such a letter and what do I put in it?
• Are the relatives actually waiting for it?
• When do you write such a letter?

Actually, those questions don't really matter. This also becomes clear from the interview with Debbie and Stephan. Debbie received a donor liver in 2016. She finds it difficult to properly express her gratitude. In a conversation with Stephan (a relative), she becomes aware that it does not matter what she writes. Or as Stephan says: ‘It is always good.’

Janneke: 'A thank-you letter is always voluntary, it is never an obligation. I always explain this to relatives, because I don't want to raise false expectations. You shouldn't pressure recipients; it must remain their own initiative.’

‘But research from Radboudumc shows that good information and support with writing helps. It motivates people to take that extra step. Because recipients really do realize that the donation has offered them life opportunities.’

Bringing closure

'When a letter arrives from a donor organ recipient, I contact the relatives. I then ask if they would like to receive that letter. If you don't announce such a letter, it can come as quite a shock. In practice, it rarely happens that relatives do not want that letter. On the contrary.’

‘From experience, I know what such a letter does for relatives. They find it pleasant, comforting. It doesn't lessen the grief, but it does support them. Especially in the first period after the loss of a loved one.'

'Such a personal letter brings closure. Relatives who received a word of thanks from a recipient are better able to find closure. They don't need direct contact, but a letter in which someone expresses gratitude in their own words means a lot.'

More about thank-you letters