Writing a thank-you letter
Have you received an organ or tissue? Then you can write a thank-you letter to the donor's family. The donor's family can also write a letter to the person who received the organ.
Above all, write what you feel and what you want to say. The donor's family is often very happy to receive a letter.
There is one important rule: make sure the reader does not know who you are. In the Netherlands, the law states that donors and recipients remain anonymous to each other, meaning they do not know who the other person is. Therefore, do not include any personal information in the letter.
So do not write down:
- your name, address, or place of residence
- information about your family (for example, how many children you have)
- the specific illness you had
- other information that could make you identifiable
The government wants to protect you and the donor's family with this. Sometimes people have expectations of contact that are not met. That can lead to disappointment.
Do you find it difficult to find the right words? You can read a sample letter. It can help you write down your own feelings. There is also an example of a letter that states what information you should not share.
Sample thank-you letter
Dear family,
Last year, I was able to receive the liver of your loved one. For me and my family, this is a day with mixed feelings. I am very happy with my new life, for which I cannot thank you enough. But I also realize that for you, it is a sad day, the day your loved one exchanged their temporary life for eternal life.
Because of my illness, I needed a donor liver. The greatest gift anyone can give. The fact that someone loved life so much that they passed that life on to me.
For a long time, I could do very little because I no longer had the energy for it. Your loved one's liver ensures that I can work again and enjoy everyday things with family and friends. Walking, cycling, and exercising—I can do it all again. Thanks to my donor, I am back in the middle of life. My loved ones and I are grateful for that every single day. It is the most beautiful gift I have ever received.
Every year on the day of the transplant, I light a candle for my donor. To remember and thank them.
Grateful regards,
the recipient
Example letter in which too much personal information is given
Dear family,
Last year, I was able to receive from your loved one in theErasmus MC received a kidney. With this letter, I would like to thank you. I also want to wish you much strength in processing the loss of your loved one. My letter therefore feels very bittersweet.
Nine years ago, I was told that my kidneys were no longer functioning properly. I was diagnosed with nephrotic syndrome. Because of this syndrome, my kidneys continued to deteriorate. Due to the physical complaints, I could no longer work as a flight attendant at KLM. As a 36-year-old Leiden mother of two children aged three and five, that was very difficult for me. Fortunately, my husband Peter was able to support our family and me until the most important moment of my life arrived: my kidney transplant.
The transplant went well. My donor kidney is doing well. I enjoy the simple things every day. But what I enjoy most is my work. I no longer fly, but I recently started as a ground stewardess for a Turkish airline. And not only that! Thanks to your loved one, I was able to participate in the European Transplant Games. As a fanatical swimmer I was able to win a medal.
I cannot thank my donor and you as surviving relatives enough. Every day I reflect on the most beautiful gift I have ever received in my life.
Much love,
Nadia
* The text in bold provides too much information
Talking about the thank-you letter
A thank-you letter can make a deep impression. In the video, you see a special meeting between Debbie and Stephan. Debbie received a donor liver and explains how difficult it is for her to write a thank-you letter. Stephan explains what it is like to receive a thank-you letter. His father donated organs after he passed away.
“It never feels good enough to me. ”
“It is always good enough. It does not matter what you write.”
How do you send the thank-you letter?
The Dutch Transplant Foundation (NTS) ensures that your letter reaches the right person.
Follow these two steps:
- Write the letter, do not include any personal information in it
- Write on a separate sheet of paperyour own name, address, and details of your transplant. We use this information to find the donor's family. The family will not see this. This way, you remain anonymous.
Send your letter and the separate sheet to:
Dutch Transplant Foundation
Attn: Thank-you letters
PO Box 2304
2301 CH Leiden
What happens to my letter?
Before we forward your letter, we ask the family if they would like to receive a letter.
- Occasionally, surviving relatives are not yet ready for it.
- By far the most families are happy to receive the letter. This also applies to surviving relatives who write a letter to the recipient.
As soon as your thank-you letter has been forwarded, you will receive notification from the NTS.
Questions about the thank-you letter?
Send your question by email to the NTS.
We are happy to help!