Writing a thank-you letter
Did you receive an organ or tissue? Then you can write a thank-you letter to the donor's family. A donor's family can also write a letter to the person who received the organ.
Above all, write what you feel and what you want to say. The donor's family is often very happy to receive a letter.
There is one important rule: make sure the reader does not know who you are. Dutch law states that donors and recipients remain anonymous to each other, meaning they do not know who the other person is. Therefore, do not include any personal information in the letter.
So do not write down:
- your name, address, or place of residence
- information about your family (for example, how many children you have)
- the exact illness you had
- other information that could make you recognizable
The government wants to protect you and the donor's family with this rule. Sometimes people have expectations of contact that are not met. That can cause disappointment.
Do you find it difficult to find the right words? You can read a sample letter. It can help you write down your own feelings. There is also an example of a letter showing which information you better not share.
Example of a thank-you letter
Dear family,
Last year I was allowed to receive the liver of your loved one. For me and my family, this is a day with mixed feelings. I am very happy with my new life, for which I cannot thank you enough. But I also realize that it is a sad day for you, the day your loved one traded temporary life for eternal life.
Because of my illness, I needed a donor liver. The greatest gift anyone can give. The fact that someone loved life so much that he or she passed life on to me.
For a long time I could do very little because I no longer had the energy for it. Your loved one's liver ensures that I can work again and enjoy everyday things with family and friends. Walking, cycling, and exercising, I can do it all again. Thanks to my donor, I am right back in the middle of life. My loved ones and I are still grateful to him or her for this every single day. It is the most beautiful gift I have ever received.
Every year on the anniversary of the transplant, I light a candle for my donor. To remember and thank him or her.
With grateful regards,
the recipient
Sample letter containing too much personal information
Dear family,
Last year I was allowed to receive from your loved one the Erasmus MC received a kidney. With this letter I want to thank you. I also want to wish you much strength in processing the loss of your loved one. Because of that, my letter feels very ambivalent.
Nine years ago I was told that my kidneys were no longer functioning properly. I was diagnosed with nephrotic syndrome. Because of this syndrome, my kidneys deteriorated further and further. Due to the physical complaints I could no longer work as a flight attendant at KLM. As a 36-year-old Leiden mother of two children aged three and five, that was very hard for me. Fortunately, my husband Peter was able to support our family and me until the most important moment of my life arrived: my kidney transplantation.
The transplantation went well. My donor kidney is doing well. I enjoy the simple things every day. But what I enjoy most is my work. I no longer fly, but recently I started as a ground hostess for a Turkish airline. And not only that! Thanks to your loved one, I was able to participate in the European Transplant Games. As a avid swimmer have I been able to win a medal.
I cannot thank my donor and you as surviving relatives enough. Every day I reflect on the most beautiful gift I have ever received in my life.
With much love,
Nadia
* The bolded text provides too much information
Talking about the thank-you letter
A thank-you letter can make a deep impression. In the video, you see a special meeting between Debbie and Stephan. Debbie received a donor liver and talks about how difficult it is for her to write a thank-you letter. Stephan talks about what it is like to receive a thank-you letter. His father donated organs after passing away.
“It never feels good enough to me. ”
“It is always good enough. It doesn't matter what you write.”
How do you send the thank-you letter?
The Dutch Transplantation Foundation (NTS) ensures that your letter reaches the right person.
Follow these two steps:
- Write the letter, do not put any personal information in it
- Write on a separate sheet of paperyour own name, address and details of your transplantation. We use this information to find the donor's family. The family will not see this. This way you remain anonymous.
Send your letter and the separate sheet to:
Nederlandse Transplantatie Stichting
T.a.v. Bedankbrieven
Postbus 2304
2301 CH Leiden
What happens to my letter?
Before we forward your letter, we ask the family if they would like to receive a letter.
- On rare occasions, surviving relatives are not yet ready for it.
- By far the majority of families are happy to receive the letter. This also applies to the surviving relatives who write a letter to the recipient.
As soon as your thank-you letter has been forwarded, you will receive a notification from the NTS.
Questions about the thank-you letter?
Send your question by email to the NTS.
We are happy to help you!